Random and Odd

9 years marks 8 years of change.

Tomorrow my youngest, my baby, my wee-widdle one will turn 9 years old.

I was laying here reading my children’s emails and figuring out which porn sites they had tried to visit without me knowing about it when the day hit me.

“Shaun. Tomorrow is Shea’s birthday.”
“Yeah. Anything planned?”

Yes, we are the worst parents ever.

Shea’s birthday is in the month personally known as ‘the month that kristine lost her damn mind’. It’s been 8 years that my world turned upside down and everything I know about myself was put to the test and I failed miserably.
May is always a hard month for me since. I battle with the person I was, the person I became and the person I am now.
She is three very different people and I am finally happy with the person I am after all the years of beating myself up for the mistakes I have made.

This is the first May since ‘kristine offically lost her damn mind’ that Dan has someone in his life that he is serious about and that seems to be making him happy.
I met her a few weekends ago and I like her. I hope..HOPE..and hope some more that she truly is sweet and kind as she portrayed herself to be. AND…she’s pretty. Actually, dare I say she is beautiful? Yeah, she is.
The best part is she loves the relationship that Dan and I have and isn’t threatened by our friendship.
Dan is in a house, he has someone who thinks he’s ‘all that’ and he’s happy.

I guess this should be the May that I let go of the guilt and let myself really, truly enjoy being as happy as I am.

Happy Birthday, Shea. I have feeling this year is going to be a big year for you. :)