Author: randomandodd  |  Category: Random

Twas a few days ‘fore Christmas (or…insert Decemberish holiday that doesn’t offend you), and computers are humming.

You need an assignment, without one you’re bumming.

Your hostess is curled in the closet, near dead

While visions of laptops dance in her head (fucking H.P).

When all of a sudden, on Random and Odd,

A substitute teacher, an obvious fraud (or hero who saves old asian ladies, whichever you choose to call me).

I’ll be nice for Kristine, and all of you whiners

Who aren’t professional photographers or graphic designers.

OK, this poem sucks. It ends here.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept:

1. One decoration. Pick an ornament, or light, or beer can (for you, Pissy). Whatever one thing in or around your home that you’d like to share with us.

2. One gift. Wrapped, unwrapped. Show off your favorite present without looking snobby! Show off some incredible gift-wrapping skills. Show off that Shaun autographed glossy 8×10 (for those off you smart enough to order before the holiday rush). Whatever. Pick a gift. If you’re not religious, buy Kristine something and take a picture of it. I’ll make sure it reaches the closet unless it’s Stripper Cookies.

3. Something stuffed in a stocking. Be creative with this one!! Do I really need to explain?

OK, now play. No lame excuses about being busy. Or out of town. Are you Amish? Do they not have electricity where you’re going? If Kristine can get a toaster to reach the closet, you can surely get to a PC. Failure to play just makes next week harder on your classmates who DID do their work. God I hated substitutes. I’m sorry. I’m out.

14 Responses to “”

  1. Kami Says:

    LOVE IT.

  2. Pissy Says:

    Oh are the funniest man in the land.
    Tell that HAB to come out of the closet and get FESTIVE.

  3. Andrea Says:

    My something stuffed in a stocking would have to be my own foot…swollen ankles, y’know.

  4. momthefonz Says:

    Shaun I Love You, You can make a dead man laugh. But Pissy is right get my baby outta the closet I thought she out grew that… Hug&kisses.

  5. SuZan Says:

    LOL…your a poet and didn’t know it!

    Time for Kristine to come out of the closet.


  6. Kami Says:

    You guys want Kris out of the closet.

    Tee hee.

    RSG will like that.

  7. shellibells Says:

    OMG i am so playing this one…i have the best picture already….

    LOTS OF LOVE, and please come out of the closet!???


  8. Pissy Says:

    And believe me, I saw her closet and it was full of SHIT.
    I think she cleaned it out though.
    Give her food and water please.
    Alcohol is preferrable.

  9. Closet Metro Says:

    I wish I had the bravery to go Red Hot Chili Pepper with the sock thing.

  10. Maria Says:

    You’re so funny, Shaun.

    Kristine, I used to lay under my bed when I was depressed. If I had an “under” my bed, I would do it now too.

  11. Janet Says:

    I played! Only…I had nothing interesting to stick in a stocking! Well…I did, but I wasn’t going there.

  12. Tammy Says:

    I played.!

  13. Teena Says:

    I’m in :)

  14. Kelly Says:

    I’ve got an interesting stuffed stocking for ya! I played! Merry Christmas!