• Random and Odd

    bring…bring…bring

    The cell phone rang and when I checked who it was. My heart sunk….”Daddy Calling”. This can’t be good. He doesn’t call very often and when he does it’s not always the best news. At my parent’s age, I get a jolt of fear anytime one of my siblings that live close to them calls me. It’s not until I hear the tone of the “Hey sis…” do I finally breath. I answered the phone, “Hey Daddy!” …and I waited for his tone, which is always kind of hard to read anyway. “Why hello! I haven’t talked to you in a coon’s age!” I could breath again. He spent the…

  • Random and Odd

    It’s already September.

    I will be out of town for the last two Mindful classes, this makes me sad because I have come so far and I wanted to finish it off with the group I started with, but decided that I am going to take the class again. There is just so much more to learn. There are some classes in San Francisco that I want to attend. I can tell that they are working, it’s just one of the hardest things I have had to do. Skydiving is easier than successfully meditating. This Saturday I spent a quiet day at home. The smoke was too thick to go hiking and I…

  • Random and Odd

    ugh!

    Pathetic. I know. So I have been tracking my food on my fitness pal app and I started to really see what I was eating. I reversed that type of eating and I went too far. I started with a protein shake for breakfast, a salad for lunch and something low carb for dinner. I was averaging about 1700 calories a day. After a month I started getting lazy and went to 2 shakes a day. Now with the break up…i’m at 3 a day and nothing else. I swear to GOD, I want to eat…I even tried to eat breakfast this morning and it tasted SO sugary. When did…

  • Random and Odd

    Hate isn’t sustainable.

    Years ago I went through a stint of watching a television show called “Hoarders”. I was in a unhappy relationship where I felt I was giving my all and not getting the same love in return. On this one episode it was of a very large woman living in a small home packed with things that gave her comfort. Her collections of stuffed animals and other knick nacks. The home was nearly impossible to navigate through and the kitchen was packed with so many things that the only thing that would work to make food, that could be accessed, was the toaster oven. In this episode they interviewed the boyfriend…

  • Random and Odd

    fermare…to stop.

        Whoa. This last month has been incredibly difficult to get through. When I got back from L.A. from shooting this wedding I fell into this really dark place in my head. Everything was to overwhelming and I just couldn’t function. I mean, I did function. That is something I have learned I do. Get up and keep going.  There wasn’t a single moment that I wasn’t silently chanting, “i can’t do this anymore. i can’t. it’s all just too much.”   The stress of everything finally caught up with me and it ripped me open and pulled me to this place I hadn’t visited in so very long.…

  • Random and Odd

    Cognosco…I recognize.

    I was on my way home from work one day and I had my Pandora set to a comedy station because Lord knows that I need a little comedy after some of the days I have there. The skit started out like a self help workshop delivered in a high pitch emphatic tone and before I had a chance to change the channel, I heard something that resonated so deep in my soul I had to quickly pull over to find the name of the comedian.  Katt Williams.  I had never heard of him, but when he was talking about women saying “You messed up my self esteem…” and his…

  • Random and Odd

    Well that didn’t work…

    So I deactivated my FB, but my friend Tammy sent me a snapshot 72 hours after I deactivated and it’s still there.  She posted pictures of Alyx and I wanted to see them full screen.  I logged back in long enough to check my messages and leave a comment on the photos.  I deleted the App from my phone and no longer will get notifications. I only have 2 to 3k more pictures to cull through. It’s such a process. I will be SO happy when they are done.  Today is going to be one of those days where i bring my laptop into work and cull through some of…

  • Random and Odd

    Lame Ass Easter

    I spent the day in my apartment cleaning and working on pictures.  My lunch and dinner where Ikea meatballs. Yes, I know it sounds pathetic, but I think it was exactly what I needed. The fish tank is moved out and I am going to take it to Goodwill on my next day off, which according to the calendar is in October.  The boys are now in their separate non-noisy fish tanks and they are much happier.  Bigger doesn’t always mean better, especially for two Betta fish. Work was busy, I am trying to stay super busy during work so I don’t think about going outside and having a smoke.…

  • Random and Odd

    Kristine un-plugged.

      I have been kicking around the idea of deactivating my Facebook for quite some time. I almost did it a year ago and I probably should have then. I need a break from everything and everyone. Things have been feeling a bit overwhelming lately and it’s time for me to find my center. I had to call my ex on Friday to get some information from him so I could fill out a passport application that ironically I won’t be needing any more. Could have told me THAT before I had to bite the bullet and make that call.  It was so weird to hear his voice on his…

  • Random and Odd

    Oh happy day….or something like that.

    It’s been a busy week.  In the middle of editing photos I had Shea’s prom I needed to get ready for.  Luckily her Dad stepped in on the day of and took her to get her hair and make up done.  She’s getting better at not being such a brat when it comes to stuff like this, but if you were to ask her sister, Alyx she would highly disagree.  I’ve found that just throwing money at the situation seems to do the trick on my end. She looked beautiful. She is such a stunning young lady.   Her boyfriend, Jeremy was awesome too. He showed up on time and…