• ex


    Dan called me the other day and sounded like hell.
    “What’s wrong?” I asked.
    “Bring me soup…please…I feel sick.”

    During my whole marriage he insisted that anytime I was ill, that it was all in my head. I try not to hold that against him after all these years, but it’s my first reaction to say, “Well you just need to think positive thoughts!”, I didn’t though. I ran to the store and got him low sodium chicken noodle soup and orange juice.

    I called him every four hours to remind him to take his medicine and each time he thanked me and hung up mid cough.

    Yesterday around noon I felt like I was hit by the sick bus.  I had officially gotten what that bastard ass had given me.  He called me on day 2 of his sick, which was about 5 hours into my sickness.
    “Bring me soda…if I drink anymore orange juice I’m going to hurl.”
    “F U, I got what you have!” I whined.
    “Oh god, I’m so sorry!” (a first, he never says he’s sorry)
    “ugh. go away.”

    Last night Shaun brought Dan some Sprite and I got a text message saying, “Tell Shaun thank you. He’s the best ex-wife’s new husband ever.”

    Today I got this message on my phone.  I wanted to keep it forever so when he gets better and is a dick again, I can remind him that I am the best ex-wife…EVER.