• Random and Odd

    Rocking this party 8 days a week!

    So it’s been a few days of absolutely NO pills in my body.  Like I mentioned, If none of them are working, I’m not taking any of them. I also stopped all soda, coffee and sugar…just in case!
    A couple of days it seemed alright. My insides still hurt, but I could manage it with 800 mg of Ibuprofen.
    This morning I woke up and nearly passed out with the pain.

    I called the doctor at 8am and told the nurse, “I’m coming in to take ANOTHER urine test.”
    Kaiser’s lab has seen more of my urine than a men’s bathroom at Yankee stadium.
    When I got there, it had gotten worse.
    I took the test and decided, “Fuck it, I’m going to sit in the office until he sees me.”
    Getting an appointment with this certain urologist is harder than getting Jonas Brother concert tickets.
    I went to the receptionist and said, “Hi, my name is Kristine, I called this morning….”
    “Oh yeah, I have a little post-it to remind me to call you later today…”
    “I’m peeing blood.”
    “Alrighty then, we are going to need  you to give us a urine sample.”
    I told her that I just gave them one at the lab and she said, “He’s going to want me to run it and look at it.”
    When you have bladder infection, it doesn’t take long to have to pee so I took her little cup and made a dash to the bathroom.
    After I was done, the nurse came out a few minutes later with eyes wide and said, “STAY HERE. He will see you soon!”
    I guess when your pee looks like strawberry lemonade they start taking you serious.

    The doctor came in and said, “You have an infection!”
    The next words should have been, “NO DUH.” but I said, “THANK YOU!” who thanks their doctor for an infection?
    He put down my pee cup and said, “This is a BAD infection.”
    “Let’s fix this!” I said half happy, half trying not to pee myself. (It had been 4 minutes since the last trip the bathroom)
    He was in between appointment with people had sold their kidney to see him so he had to give me the news and run back out. This went on for a good hour.
    During this hour I had ran to the bathroom SIX times.
    His last visit I asked him, “What’s our next step?”
    and then he said that word that made me cringe.
    We went over all the antibiotics that I couldn’t take anymore and he was very discouraged about the outcome.

    I’m big on ‘personal space’ and try to make sure that people don’t get into mine and I stay out of theirs. I got all into his personal space and I asked him, “Be honest with me…brutally honest…what do you think the problem is?”
    He has known that I’m frustrated by all of this because I have seen him so many times and every time he tells me he doesn’t know what it is, I nearly break down and have a crying fit on his floor.
    He avoided this question and talked about what we could do.
    “No, tell me. At this point, you can’t tell me anything that is going to make my life worse, unless you told me that all my kids were in a car accident with my sister and mom and they are all dead.  If it’s cancer, let’s start some chemotherapy.”
    He hesitated, but told me what he thinks it is.
    “I think it’s E Coli.” He waited for the break down.
    “Okay, how do we get rid of it?” I had a name. Merry Christmas, I have a name!
    “The thing is, you’ve been on so many antibiotics and it’s compromised your immune system and your ability to take anything will get rid of it.”
    “Alright, worst case?”
    “It could be fatal.  The best case is we get the results back and we put you in the hospital for a couple days and have you take the antibiotics through a IV.”

    I find out on Monday.

    The doctor gave me shot in the ass with antibiotics and put me on some serious oral antibiotics.  I go back on Friday for a follow up appointment.

    I MIGHT have the name to what is wrong.
    I MIGHT be able to fix this!

    This antibiotic is making me want to hurl.
    I might be spending my holidays in the hospital.
    Another weekend spent in bed fighting this stupid thing.
    I will never, ever, ever eat meat again if this is the problem.

    Anyone else know anyone who’d had this problem?  I know just a little bit more than zero (thanks wikipedia) about this.

  • stuff portrait friday


    Well, you were all expecting something all red huh? Naw. Not me. Today was a super busy day.
    I decided to use this picture because I’ve been thinking about my Grandma a lot lately.

    It’s been 14 years since she passed away, but sometimes I swear I can still hear her talking to me. Telling me little secrets about how to handle something.  She was a smart one.
    I miss her. She would say right now, “Well, Krissy, you just need to just need to [secret] and [secret]” and damn that woman would be spot on!


  • Random and Odd


    It’s been six months of pain, pill and frustration.
    I started the antibiotics; allergic reaction.
    I started different antibiotics; allergic reaction.
    2 MRI’s
    2 Ultrasounds
    3 different urologists.
    2 doctors.
    2 OBGYN docs.
    1 snazzy trip to the ER.
    HUNDREDS of dollars on pills/visits
    So many ‘second opinions’.

    The last bit of pills — It’s all I can take anymore.

    I’m stopping all the pills.  I’m not sure what that will do, but it can’t be any worse than the pain I am in now.

    This upcoming year, I can only say there HAS to be changes.

    **updated SPF**see above.

  • Random and Odd

    Damn it!

    Well, I thought yesterday those pills were it. I went all day without the ‘episode’, and I actually thought to myself, ‘you know what? I can handle the ringing in my ears and the dizzyness, and maybe I will get use to it and drive again soon!” I had hope yesterday.

    Hope was lost this morning.   The infection-like feeling is back.

    I am not  80 year old man with prostate problems.
    I tried it, it didn’t work, one less thing to test in the future.
    I will be able to drive.
    I wasn’t allergic to the medication and didn’t have to go through the hives like the last time.
    Spent the weekend with a spinning head, ringing ears, hangover feeling without all the crazy stories of, “OH MY GOD, do you remember what you did last night?” and reenactments of me dancing on the bar.

    It didn’t work.
    More antibiotics.

  • Random and Odd

    I did not pass out!

    It’s looking like my inability to sleep is so stubborn that even a pill that will drop my blood pressure so low that it causes blacking out, will not work on me.  Who would have guessed I would be happy for the stubborn no-sleep gene?

    I took the pill last night and then realized I didn’t ask the doctor, “If I pass out, do I have someone wake me?”
    Yes, someone was going to need to wake me, prop my feet up, get the blood going back to my hear and such.  I figured within 20 minutes the pill would be in my system and the tunnel vision would happen. It didn’t. Something even more fun happened.

    Imagine if you will that feeling you get right after you get off the Gravitron at the fair.  I wasn’t spinning, it just felt like had been spinning for 5 solid minutes with Metalica playing at volume 11 for two hours.  The sicky-spinny-going-to-hurl-my-funnel-cake feeling along with this ringing so loud I can’t hear anything else.

    So far, I haven’t had an ‘episode’. I can stand up and walk, but I look drunk doing it.  I have decided that if the ringing in my ears don’t stop, I will take a q-tip and jab my ear drums out.

  • Random and Odd

    “how did the doctor’s visit go?”

    Yesterday sucked, so how could today get any worse? I can go visit my doctor.

    “So what happened?” he asks.
    I tell him about how after Thanksgiving I forgot to take an antibiotic and how within 24 hours of not taking the pill, I am right back to where I was before. With a bladder infection.
    “No, it’s not an infection.”
    *sigh* That’s right. I had ‘that thing that feels EXACTLY like a bladder infection.’
    “So you took one antibiotic a night for around 90 days and you missed one and had an ‘episode’?”
    I confirm that it was like I was right back to July when this whole thing started.
    “Well, I guess that procedure we did…didn’t work.”
    This is where I start crying about just wanting to know what it is and for him to just tell me.
    “Honestly, we don’t know.  But you can’t be on those antibiotics forever, so let’s put you on this NEW pill. It’s usually only prescribed to older men with prostate problems, but it might work for you.”
    *blink* thinking to myself, ‘oh my god…i am an 80 year old man…you must get over this and ask him side effects.’
    “What are the side effects?”
    And this is where I get the shocking news.
    “Well, you have really low blood pressure normally and this drug will actually drop your blood pressure even lower. So the first 3 or so pills, you’re going to pass out….”
    “Whoa, wait…like, tunnel vision pass out?”
    “Yeah. But that will go away after about the 3rd pill. After that for the next three weeks, you’re going to be REALLY dizzy all the time so be careful getting up too fast.”
    *blink* What.the.fuck? *blink*
    “Can I drive?”
    “Well, with your blood pressure the way it is, I wouldn’t advise it.”
    —–i can’t drive for THREE weeks? CUT OUT THE FUCKING BLADDER AND KIDNEY THEN!—-
    More tears.
    “Oh, and just to be sure we have gotten everything, I am doing a full exam on you. So that procedure we did on you, we are going to try that one more time and be more thorough.”
    OH MY GOD.  “You’re doing that AGAIN?”
    “Yes, this time we are going to test everything and try to onset your condition so we can see what is going on in there when you’re having an ‘episode’. ”
    And so I ask…”Anything else?” tears. tears. tears.
    “Blood work. I’m running EVERY test we have on you.”

    I walked away with pills that will cause me to pass out due to low blood pressure going lower and ELEVEN viles of blood now missing from my body. ELEVEN.

    Yes, as a matter of fact my life is a made for television show. It’s called — HOUSE.

  • Random and Odd

    SPF: A gift you have been given…

    Kimmy, who I can’t say enough about, is totally awesome and gave me her old Ipod. She will never in a million years know how much this means to me. I know I have said that before, but really…it means the world to me.  She knew it was something I have always wanted…and when she got a new one, she gifted me with her old one.

    It meant so much to me, I made a set on flickr for it. I hope to update it with different pictures, in different places. Maybe that will be next years mission along with the magazine covers.

    I have finally learned how to make playlists and I have a friend I have been asking, “Hey, music dork [he says, music daddy, i disagree.] give me musical suggestions!” and he has so I think it’s almost creepy that he has his own ‘playlist’ on my ipod. I figure this way, if I am playing music and I say, “Whoa, where did this lame/great song come from?” I can check where it’s coming from and say, “Ohhh, I see!”.   God forbid I download (legally, of course, Ruka) a lame song and not be able to blame it on someone else.
    He has me hooked on Ray LaMontagne right now.

    I got flowers today too!

    Did you play?

  • stuff portrait friday

    Why does all the spam mail come in around midnight?

    It seems like I get all those weird spam mails after midnight. I wonder if those people work from home or if they are dragging themselves into the office at 3 am to start mass emailing. Maybe it’s a machine that send them out? I don’t know, spam is like magic, best if I don’t know how it gets there, just that it does.

    So, it totally felt like Tuesday all day today.  Now it’s Thursday and I feel like I missed a whole day. What did I accomplish in that lost day? A trip to the store and some minor anxiety attacks about…oh, everything.

    I did get to visit with my friend Ruka tonight for a little while.  I’m pretty sure I have a sickness, I mean, other than the one that is eating away at my kidney/bladder.  She had an ipod. It looks like mine. (every time I say I have an ipod it makes me tingly) anyway, hers has colors.  So my new mission is to convince her to buy a BIGGER ipod and give me her old one. AND THIS WILL START MY COLLECTION OBSESSION WITH IPODS!   I have mentioned in past posts (that I refuse to go find for your reading pleasure) that if I have one of something, I need 2. then three. then four.  You all know how many digital cameras are in my house right? WAY TOO MANY. Some big, some small, some that are nearly 10 years old. I can’t stop.  Before that it was watches.  I have one watch I wear and it’s the kind you have to wind up…but a drawer full of watches.
    THANK GOD I don’t have an obsession with like diamonds or something, cause that would get pricey. No one just sends people diamonds. But then again, who sends people ipods either? Kimmy does. She might be one of those non-obsessive-collection people.  I’m rambling.

    So it’s Thursday and you have your SPF (look up to the right, see, I do update it!) and it’s A GIFT YOU HAVE RECEIVED. This month is all about giving.  Anyone need a watch?
    I’m actually going to put some effort into this one. Like work hard at making it just right. Capture the beauty of a gift.
    I love my red stapler that The Merry Widow sent me back in 2005. When I use it as my default picture, people think i’m holding a dildo.

    Didn’t think we were going to make it out of this blog without something totally offensive did you?

  • Random and Odd

    postcard from the 2001 kristine

    I’m trying to locate the bedroom floor again.  It’s weird how many times I do that in a month huh?

    I stumbled on about 7 old check books.  Not that anyone could actually get anything if they stole my identity, but I do take some precautions and destroying checkbooks from accounts that are not active is one of them.  I found the carbon copy from some checks I had written years ago and decided to look at them before I began my destruction ripping.

    It’s was like the past-me came up to now-me and slapped me right in the face. HARD.
    I spent money on real hair care products. I spent money on books from the old book store from the town over. I had a lunch with a friend. I spent Monday night at a place to watch football with others around me and I bought a drink. I took my car in for oil changes.   I enrolled in college.

    I know just going through an old check book register does not really reveal the person I was and what I was going through at that time, because only I know where I was in my head…it just looked pretty good on paper for a minute.