Some days are good. Some days are awesome. Some days just SUCK. Yesterday…SUCKED.
I thought I was doing pretty good because I got up and was in a great mood. I was ready to start my day off with exchanging a pair of pants that were too BIG. Yes, you heard me, TOO BIG.
Then I got in the car.
I just would like to a moment to say how sorry I am that the people of Rocklin have to share a road with me. It’s really not THEIR fault that I am pretty damn certain that they are going to veer into my lane causing me to spin out and flip my minivan 400 times before landing on black ice and spinning out of control like a carnival ride only to come to stop in the middle of the lane with a semi truck that carries hundred gallons of gas coming right at me.
I know this isn’t a realistic thing that would happen, but it doesn’t stop me from screaming at the car in front of me that had the NERVE to put on his brakes to come to a stop.
It’s also not right for me scare old people that are slowly pulling out of the Target shopping center by coming around a corner and jumping OUT OF MY SKIN because they looked like they MIGHT hit me. I’m pretty sure the cart, 4 new pillows and 40 gallons of water would have protected me, but it didn’t stop me from squealing and doing what might have looked like a ‘pee pee’ dance when the car pulled out.
Also, the lady in the maroon Escalade, I’m sorry. I’m sure you have fine depth perception, but it REALLY looked like you were going to take off my mirror and possibly rip the whole front end of my van off when you parked in front of me outside the school. You probably think I a complete idiot because I know you had to see me pounding my forehead into the steering wheel over and over after you parked.
The many people on Park Blvd yesterday, SORRY. just SORRY. I know you have all been driving for many years, but it didn’t stop me from yelling at you to “GET THE HELL OFF MY ASS!”, “HOLY SHIT, YOU TOOK THAT CORNER TO FAST!” “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE HERE!?”. Yes, there were many of you that might have gotten the glare in my rear view mirror as I tried to make it around town like a normal person can.
Lastly. I am sorry to the band AC/DC who’s song I destroyed in my attempt to get over the 700 hundredth anxiety attack I was having yesterday. I realized after the 5th time I started “Highway to Hell” that I really have NO fucking clue what the damn words to that song really are. I have about 80% down, but the other 20% is me making up words and that is just WRONG. You have earned right in Rock and Roll history and you don’t need some mini-driving anxiety attackin’ mom, slashing your poor song to death. I promise to look up the words and when I am road raging again, I will belt out each line as YOU wrote it, not the words that I make up to look cool. Sorry ’bout that.
As you can see, I am STILL in the middle of my battle. By 4 o’clock yesterday I was drained. It takes so much out of a person to have anxiety. All the ups and downs make it hard to function outside of your comfort bubble.
Did you catch the part where I exchanged a pair of pants for a smaller size though?