Good Morning Random and Odd readers!
It’s 8:10 am and I have been up for a few hours feeling super fantastic! I got laundry done, kids dressed and off to school.
This is UNHEARD of people! UNHEARD OF!
For the last two nights, because I am sicker than a dog, I have been falling asleep before 10pm. UNHEARD OF! It’s amazing how much a couple days of normal sleep can make me feel like I have been on vacation.
If I could kick the cough and stuffy head, I will be at 100% again. UNHEARD OF!
I didn’t even have beat the children to get this euphoric high!
Sleep…who would have guessed it!?
“When did locking your kids in their room get such a bad rap?” -My So-Called Life.
And to add to that little diddy, when did duct tape over the mouth and beating them unconscious get a bad rap?
How many times a day do I have to think, “Dear Lord, is this day over yet?”
My mother is doing good. She didn’t have a stroke, but they were worried that she had. They ran some tests and sent her home after she checked out fine.
It didn’t stop me from driving up there so I could run my fingers through her hair and cuddle with her.
Today we talked on the phone and she said, “I need to get better so we can do more stuff.” I agreed. WE need to get better so we can get back to doing our ‘Mother, Daughter & Daughter’ things we use to do.
Awhile back I had a conversation with my mom about ‘owning’ what belongs to us. The choices that we make our ours and it doesn’t belong to anyone but us. Be they good choices, we can say, “Hey, that was something I did. I own that.” or be it bad, we have to own up to and say, “Yeah, that was stupid. I own that. I am not going to blame that on anyone, but me.”
It seems like I am always in this circle of ‘chasing my tail’. I get one thing settled and then another one comes up and bites my ass. The chasing of my tail starts again.
Today I sat back and divided out what belongs to me and what belongs to other people. It’s astounding how much of my problems can be fixed with just a change of thought processes. A simple, “That is mine. I own it.”
Shaun and I haven’t really been together THAT long. It’s taken a long time to realize that in order to make our lives what we want it to be, we need to be on the same page about everything. When you’re involved with someone, you have to really sit back and say, “Alrighty, that is HIS…he owns that.” and sometimes where we have to say, “That’s OURS, and we need to fix it.”
Last year we decided that we are not only on the same page about certain things, but we were going to write the book on how things need to be in our lives. I’ve screwed up 400 times in the process. He has screwed up at least 800 times in the process. At times we try to stab each other with the pens we are writing the book with. Ultimately, we decided as husband and wife what we were going to do with the situations we had in front of us. A united front. Some people would love the idea, some people would hate it. It didn’t matter what anyone thought of it; not my family, nor his. If you loved the idea, GREAT. If you didn’t like the idea, that was fine too…but respect that is a choice we made together.
When I talked to my mother about ‘owning’ the choices we had made in the past and make in the future, she was on board. Since that conversation, she hasn’t brought up the bad things that happened to us. I even have taken steps to repair a relationship that was strained with my father.
I don’t agree with some of the things that happened between my mom and dad. It doesn’t mean that I can’t love them both.
They each have their mistakes. They each own those mistakes. They are not mine. I am lucky enough to be the daughter of those two wonderful people. They are smart enough to know that I am an adult and the problems that they have had with each other doesn’t belong to me. The joy of being able to spend time with each of my parents and not have to hear the Bullshit about the other one; it makes me realize…the choice I made is the right one.
My father knows if he at any time asked me to choose him over my mother, he would be minus a daughter.
My mother knows if she asked me to pick her over my father, she too would be minus a daughter.
Because of this, I know I have the love of both of my parents.
Thank you guys for respecting the choices that I have made.
On Wednesday, Kathy called me.
“I’m taking mom to the hospital.”
There is never a time in my life that I want to hear the words, “Mom” and “Stroke” in the same sentence.
I may or may not have drove over the speed limit to get to Redding. I got there and she was snuggled in her bed and snoring like a bear…if bears snore, which I like to believe they do.
We snuggled in bed the whole next day. I got about 4 minutes sleep in 2 days, which is 4 minutes more than my sister got…so I am TOTALLY not complaining.
I got home Friday afternoon to a sick husband and Marina’s birthday party that had 15 or something kids showing up. Thank GOD, Shaun’s ex and her daughter in law helped me out. After 3 hours in the car by myself, had gotten a wee bit on the stupid side. I played car games with myself. I won.
I played, “name that tune” when I left Redding, but it wasn’t really too hard. If I just kept saying, “DOOBIE BROTHERS” I was getting about 7 out of 10 right.
I caught myself trying to cheat a few times at “Famous Names”. I kept running out of names that started with H, so I started making up names or using high school classmates.
It was in those 3 hours that I realized that I would NEVER make it in any sort of meditation class. Somewhere in the first 20 minutes of driving home I told myself, “Self, you should spend these next 3 hours thinking about important things in your life..things about you…things of…weird, I didn’t realize my blinker made that sound. I wonder if I turn it on the other direction it makes a different sound. nope. same sound. it’s cute though. blink. blink. blink. Wait, what was I thinking about? IMPORTANT STUFF. Yes…let us think upon important things.” and that lasted until I saw a Cal-Trans helmet laying on the side of the road and that got me to wondering what kind of injuries he had if his helmet is laying in the middle of the two freeways. Chest tube. He totally had to get a chest tube.
In reality though, I did think about some important things. Things like; I don’t ever want to hear my mom on Morphine ever again. I don’t want to get another call like that again. I don’t want my sister to have to do it alone if that call has to be made.
I think it was the stress of everything, but I’m sick now. Shaun is sick too.
My boobs…they are alright…no need to worry about them.
I love falling asleep during interesting TV shows. It makes for bitchen dreams. Today I fell asleep while watching CNN. I had this dream I was a news reporter, going to New Orleans to check the damage. In the process of this helicopter ride, I fell in love with a brother that was convicted of murder, be he didn’t do it. What I couldn’t figure out was how New Orleans could have been flooded when it was really in the desert and had cliffs.
Never once did I say my dreams made sense, but damn are they interesting. They always feel so vivid. When I wake up I am happy because I went somewhere I have never been…or ever will be…unless they decide to relocate N.O. to Yosemite.
The other day during a late day nap I woke up for a split second to hear that Shaun and Marina were watching “The Amazing Race”. I fell back asleep hoping I wouldn’t incorporate that show into my dream…or maybe it was just a dream. I mean, come on…this whole Amazing Race thing was just a whim right?
Dan came over last night to fix some electrical problem that required a volt meter that I no longer own. He had to do some other stuff that would require turning off the power, which he didn’t because he finds joy in watching me freak out as he cuts live wires and rewires them. He jumps and pulls his hand back just to watch me pee myself.
“So the uh..Passport papers for Amazing Race look like they are going to be around 200 bucks.” He says as he holding two wires that look like they shouldn’t touch.
“Mmm. yeah.” I am just sounding interested so he will hurry up and finish the rewiring and I can again use my bathroom outlets again.
“You can do it two different ways…you can….FLASHLIGHT.” I lift the flashlight back up and switch my weight to another side. “You can go through the post office or there is this one place that can do it. It’s the same amount.”
I don’t want to hurt his feelings and say, “Yeah, cause THAT is going to happen.” and I don’t want him to stop that rewiring thing he’s doing so well and that will make blow drying my hair so much easier if I can use the bathroom mirror and not blow dry it in the hallway.
Tonight, out of the blue, Shaun says; “I watched “The Amazing Race”…Dan and I can so win that!” Then he goes on and on about what it takes and it basically comes down to being able to ‘take shortcuts’.
Well…I certainly have a track record for marrying men that are good at taking short cuts. Didn’t I just spend 15 minutes in the garage while Dan rewired LIVE wires because he was either too lazy to shut off the power or just to damn stubborn to do it?
After all the serious stuff he had to tell me about (including passports and how to apply) we started joking about how they would loose.
“It would be something really stupid too…”
“Yeah, it could be the numerous phone calls from your ex wives asking you stupid questions.”
He then jokingly mimicked Tabitha and I, “Shaun…for real? The Great Wall of China? Get your ass off the Great Wall of China, the F*&^ing Christmas Tree fell over again!”
“Dan, I am NOT taking care of your stupid cats. You better just take them with you!”
The sad thing is…that would be their downfall, Us.
Me calling Dan to ask him who the lead singer of Foghat was and Tabitha calling Shaun to tell him that there was no where to park at work.
There is a place for our Ex Husbands…It doesn’t involve flying to China. It involves making sure they have good cell phone reception and the ability to block out our voices as we rant or ask stupid questions.
Yesterday Shaun and I went to pick out a Christmas tree. Normally we procrastinate until a week before Christmas before we rush out and get a tree.
Halloween came and we were, “ugh”. Thanksgiving came and we were like, “ugh”. Figuring that Christmas was going to be much like the same. Our solution was to tear through the garage and get our Christmas ornaments and decorations out and force ourself into the mood.
It took a good couple of hours for the whole family to get everything up. We strung the lights and went through the traditions of putting up our special ornaments. I waited until last to put up my 5 favorite ornaments at the tippity top.
After all of it was done, I vacuumed up the needles and put away all the boxes. Perfection. Best decorations and handsomest tree EVER.
10 minutes later, Kara informs me that the tree fell over. Grrreeeeaat. The floor will be wet from the water in the base and needles will be in every corner of my living room…but how bad is that? I’ll go back into the living room after Shaun and Tyler had uprighted the tree and fixed it. EXCEPT, this isn’t a simple ‘flesh wound’ to the tree…this is a full on Trauma situation.
“Mom, your favorite ornaments broke.” Both arms and legs went numb. CHEST TUBE! GET THE TREE A CHEST TUBE!
The tree had to be stripped of everything and redone. My decorations needed lots of super glue. My mood…blown.
After we got the tree into an upright and solidly placed situation we decided that we would redecorate tomorrow.
THENNNNNNNN, the lighted garland on the fireplace mantle arched and blew the breaker in the house, leaving us without lights on the whole right side of the house.
Procrastination never sounded like a better idea than last night.
*sigh* Tell me this isn’t a sign of what this Christmas is going to be like…
I was tagged with a Meme by Leane.
Normally, I don’t do these things outside of MySpace, because I read somewhere that MySpace is the internet’s ghetto, and what a better place to put down all the stupid things like, “What are you wearing right now?” questions?
In this certain Meme (which, by the way…what the hell does this word mean?) contains 7 random things about yourself. Like you haven’t learned more than 7 random things about me by just reading daily…but what the hell…the sleeping pills haven’t kicked in yet.
1. I’m going through this strange television transformation. I spent a solid year watching “Forensic Files”. Watching stories about how people had died and the justice that followed. Now I am addicted to watching “Trama; Life in the E.R.” and “Code Blue”. I keep trying to add other shows into the mix, like “Ultimate Factories” where they show you how a car is built, but the first one I watched was on the Ferrari and after watching how it was built, no other car factory can compare and I deleted the other shows.
The Trauma shows are getting a little old though. I am thinking if I knew how to put in a tube chest I could save lives.
2. Speaking of addictions. I have been drinking an insane amount of Dole Orange, Mango, Pineapple juice.
3. I haven’t worn a skirt or a dress (outside of my wedding) since 2003.
4. I want to be one of those people that lives in a big city and rides trains to get to places. I want to live in apartment in this big city that I has a door man and an elevator.
5. I can’t dance.
6. I look stupid in hats.
7. I’m a night person. I would rather sleep during the day and then do all the stuff that needs to get done at 2 in the morning. I realize this isn’t realistic and I have to be a normal person, but it seems as I get older…my bed time gets later and later. Like right now, I’m craving to go wash the dishes and see if I can get the living room clean. It’s midnight.
I’m not going to tag anyone, but if you do this…link back here so I can read your 7 random things.
Liz brought her Wii with her when she moved to California while Dennis is in Iraq.
She told me in her most adorable southern drawl, “you’re gunna get sooo addicted to it, ya’all.”
Now, I can only think of a few times that I have been addicted to a video game.
1. When mom and I were living in Victorville, California and there was nothing better to do than go to Denny’s and play Ms. Pacman. She beat me every game.
2. When mom and I were living in San Luis Obisbo, California and she became a ‘Pool Shark’ and I became known as, “The girl that played Dig Dug from opening to closing time.” Mom would beat people at Pool to pay for my Dig Dug habit.
3. Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. TRY beating me at that game. Not going to happen. I am the master.
and lastly…and admittedly the worst ‘addiction’ I’ve had; Arkanoid. Keep in mind, this was before ‘cheat codes’ and ‘pause buttons’. You got 3 chances then game was OVER.
Mom and I rigged the TV so that we would never shut off the Nintendo system. It took months for us to get to the final level of Arkanoid. The last level before the end was virtual HELL.
One night after many attempts…I beat that level and HOLY CRAP I WAS GOING TO SEE THE FACE OF ARKANOID!
Mom called everyone at 9 o’clock to get their asses over to the house, “Kris is on the final level!!” I had to sit there and wait until everyone got there to play it.
It took 3 controllers to finally be able to finish the game, we had worn out the first one that came with the game. Then we bought a replacement. The last controller we had to convince a neighbor that we wouldn’t break it, but needed it to finally finish off the game.
After I beat that game…I only played for entertainment value.
Now the Wii is in our home for a few days and our house has become a battle zone. Dan came over last night and with his Rookie status managed to beat everyone at Tennis. This will change as soon as I get a little better. There is no way Dan is going to beat ME at a game.
When he left we decided to make him his own character. I was cracking up because seriously…could it look anymore like him? I think not.
I know how it feels, old girl. WORN OUT.
Okay, I have decided what I want for Christmas. EVERYONE needs to make me this special loaf of bread my sister, master baker (but still Mom’s second favorite) made for me because of the orgasmic sounds I was making after she gave me a slice.
One slice didn’t cut it for me. I ended up eating three VERY large chunks of bread. Because she loves me like I am her only baby sister, she got up and made me a loaf before I had to leave. Who does that? Who gets up in the morning and makes bread for their sister? MINE. Because she is not only beautiful, funny, smart…and she loves me.
She sent me the recipe, but the last time she sent me a recipe, I made glue. No really…Potato soup turns to glue if you make it wrong. I am in fear of making this loaf of bread and ruining the glorious taste forever. Ya’all need to get to baking though!! I think I can go MAYBE a week without the goodness that is this bread.
Jeremiah likes it too. I thought if I just gave him a cranberry from the inside, he would hate it. He ate his little bit and said, “MMMMM.” and ended up eating half my slice. I wasn’t too happy about it, but seeing him lick the paper plate when the done, just sealed the deal. He woke up after his nap with his wet paper plate in hand saying, “Mooooore.”
We are addicted…and you can be too: CLICK HERE for the goodness. send me some.
Need a recap for any new readers ??*coughyeahrightcough* or perhaps a reminder on how R & O we are.
Dan — My ex-husband and father of Kara, Alyx and Shea.
Shaun — Current husband, father to Tyler and Marina.
It has been suggested that someone needs to make a sitcom about our family, but in those TRULY random moments like…say…for example; When Shaun and I came home and Tabitha (Shaun’s ex wife) is making us a romantic dinner and my ex-husband is using our shower because he has a date and his power was off. And this is NORMAL for us. We realized that NO ONE outside of my readers and our friends would believe half the weirdness that makes us the ‘village’.
Dan has found a way to make it ONE step stranger.
For as long as I can remember Dan has always wanted to be on Amazing Race. Today he IMed me to see if Shaun would go to the try outs with him.
…and Shaun agreed.
I swear…if they get on that show, I am making Tabitha move back in. We will have our own show: “What happens when our two ex husbands go on a world traveling reality show and leave the two ex wives to tend to the 6 children.”
I’m thinking it would be sponsored by Xanax and Robert Mondavi Winery.