Greg brought me his Digital Rebel to play with at work. The conversation is email exchange between Shaun and I for the next hour.
Title of email: You’re going to hate me.
Me: I want the Canon Digital Rebel. NOW.
Stop. You have a sickness, honey. I had an intervention planned, but obviously this needs to be addressed.
Hope you’re sitting down…….DIGITAL ENVY SYNDROME
What is it? Digital Envy Syndrome(DES) is a psychological affliction which causes its host to crave electronic, digital, or computer-related items which have been celebrated by other users. DES sufferers are usually symptomatic for years before proper diagnosis (which should only occur by proper CompUSA or Fry’s authorized representatives). Symptoms include a constant need, desire, or craving to electronically upgrade beyond the needs of the patient as well as an unusually large pile of digital cameras.
I was talking to my doctor about this problem JUST this morning. He said he thought he had DES too, but after getting the Digital Rebel all DES was cleared up and in fact he has more respect for the digital camera’s from his past. He has released his ghosts and no longer has those horrible cravings.
You sound like a crack addict trying to get that high they got the first time. I’m going to find you in an alley someday behind a trail of full memory cards.
Now you’re just talking crazy! *twitch* My doctor gave me this prescription to avoid any side effects that may occur. [insert picture of Canon Digital Rebel from above]
Actually, you’re without insurance at this time. The clinic phoned this one in:
I guess i’m not getting a new camera after all.
Shaun likes to make pictures now that I have hooked him up with some new software and Tyler (the 14 year old) gave him some quick tutorials.
He took this one of me and made me pretty (the best he could)
He said he didn’t like the picture I had on my profile. He said it was too washed out. I tried to explain to him that I did that for a reason. (if you haven’t noticed, most pictures of me lack color)
I keep looking at this picture and I don’t think it looks like me. That girl in the picture is kind of pretty.
Okay, okay…don’t be thinking I’m fishing for compliments. I’m not. No really. ALL RIGHT, go ahead. No, shut up.
Let’s take a look at the REAL Kristine. Not this retouched, smiling with lipstick on, hair all done up girl.
This is me. This is what I wear when I am in all my glory. Men’s flannel PJ’s and mismatched socks.
I swear I am the reason they came up with the show, “What Not To Wear”
I wore SHORTS to work. And that hair…come on, I’m one spurt of hairspray away from Camaro bangs. STILL. How old am I?
It’s a wonder I can get ready in the morning! Look at this mess!! This is the top drawer in my bathroom. It’s TRASHED and it doesn’t matter how much I try to clean it up, it keeps looking like this. My job requires to keep people on task and organized. I would SO be fired if they saw my house!
I have a degree in computer science & network security. Would you hire me? REALLY! Look at this!! This is my computer!!
Did I mention I have anxiety attacks…I was having one, right here in this picture. The bangs again. I think my anxiety attacks are directly proportional to my bangs. BIG AND UGLY.
I’m having one of those days today if you couldn’t tell.
Good thing the day is almost over.
Honestly, I went looking for the pictures that would prove that the picture of the woman above is REALLY not the person I am, but I have managed to delete almost EVERY SINGLE picture of myself in the past year. I look like hell warmed over.
But, on a good note, I’m working on getting better. In my head, on my body and how I feel about myself.
I do have great friends and family. My kids are healthy and I get to keep the house. It’s not so bad being me.