This is a warning:
You are going to come home to me wearing the SAME clothes I have been wearing for two days.
You are going to come home to pissed off kids because I am not removing myself from this computer to do anything for them except raise my eyebrow when they question my will.
You are going to come home to me on the computer rambling incoherently about hazmat and halon balls.
I will be saying, “Why is there no picture of the east side!? WHERE IS THE PPE!!???” over and over again.
I might not cook today.
I might not eat today.
I might not shower.
BUT BY THE LOVE OF GOD, I AM GOING TO FINISH THESE SITES!
and on a side note: If you’re the MF who keeps calling here and NOT LEAVING A MESSAGE, i’m not answering because I think you are Wells Fargo Auto Finance and I told you already, ON FRIDAY…I WILL SEND YOU THE MONEY ON FRIDAY!
I will not be changing my message to reflect that you need to leave a message for me to call you back. That’s totally obnoxious…and i’m not obnoxious. LOL. Yeah.
I have laundry to do today. Lots of it. I also have this side job thing I need to finish. I don’t want to be out of bed. Why? Here, let me show you…
See, this is heaven! 600 thread count sheets (thanks mom) and my Nautica comforter. This is fucking heaven! I even have a TV in here.
BUT, the coffee maker isn’t in here, so let’s get up.
I swear, if I don’t know how people who don’t drink coffee do it. I don’t know how I did it before I took up the habit FIVE years ago. Okay, the coffee is done, and it’s time to consider taking a shower. Why? WHY? because look at what I look like in the morning…
I know, it’s endearing how adorable I can look.
Time to work…no really. I am going to sit down at this here computer and do some work, If my mouse pad thing wasn’t squishy and so entertaining I might get something done.
No really, as fun as it is playing with the squishy thing and seeing how loud my desk chair can get. I need to get some work done. SOMETHING.
Oooh, more coffee. This is going to cause SERIOUS anxiety attacks…and many trips to the bathroom.
Now if this isn’t an anxiety attack waiting to happen! This is the border in my bathroom that drives me nuts. I can’t even pee in this bathroom anymore because the color of the bathroom causes me to go into a heart racing attack. Ugh…what was I thinking when I put that shit up on my walls?
No worries. My fish will fix the problems. I don’t know why, but I love this fish-spoon holder thingy. It’s ugly as hell, but I love it.
Breakfast will help me get motivated. Yes, a donut or frosted flakes…oh wait. I forgot. I’m ‘changing my outside along with the inside’. No more frosted flakes at noon.
The outside still is wearing mismatched fuzzie socks, flannel bottoms and my fucked up robe with red wine and coffee spills on it. My inside wants to match it!! I want a damn donut.
I guess I should put down the blog and get back to work. Or, actually, get TO work.
So now that you know me in the morning…wait until you see me at night. “Reow!” I look just as sexy at 6pm IN THE SAME DAMN CLOTHES!
No, that’s changing too. I will shower by …1 pm. I will NOT get back into my cozies and I will NOT eat a corn dog instead of a salad.
If I am going to pull of this bitch thing and be nagging little people and big people to pick up their shit, I better be doing it in a pair of pants and not a robe and flannels. Because that just makes me look like a crazy bitch and not a serious one. right?