The Fonz

I have the coolest mom in the blogosphere.

  • The Fonz

    Happy Birthday to Mom the Fonz….

    I wanted to spend the day with her.  To be able to get one of her most awesomest hugs. To see her blow out her candles.

    There are things going on at Random and Odd that will not allow me to be there, and I know she understands and hopes she can forgive me for not being there.
    If anyone knows anything about cleaning out the proverbial house, it’s my mom.  She is an example of how people can go from good to bad to good to bad to good to bad to good again.  She is the finest example of people who have come so far with so little.  She is the epitome of how to do something wrong, then make it right again.  She is an example that I live by, for both the bad and the good.
    She has taught me so much by example the woman I want to be.

    Happy Birthday, you old hag!


    Your  Obama voting, gay supporting, gun controlled and HOPE FILLED daughter,
    or AKA…your favorite,

    Kristine :)

    (also, much love from her husband…FIVE kids (you were right mom, I had 5!) and TWO obnoxiously adorable dogs!)

  • Dashababy,  The Fonz

    because you asked…

    On occasion I get an email saying how much people love the relationship that my mom, sister and I have.   Sometimes people say, “I wish I could hang out with you guys…I bet it would be fun.”

    I have been trying to locate CD’s that I have misplaced (kids stole) and I ran across 2  (ones I stole from my sister) the title is my mother’s handwriting that says; ‘Copy of Kathy’s funky CD’.
    If my sister made a CD it’s going to be rockin’ so I grabbed it as I headed out of the house.  The first song, “Bad Mama Jamma” (of course) and I instantly was in a good mood.  After flipping through the tracks I said to myself, “Now where is ‘the floor’? It’s gotta be on here.” and low and behold it was the next song. Insta-grin.

    The floor is OUR song.  If there is a time we are together and we are groovin’ to music, that song has to be played.  In fact, I would go as far to say that at each of our funerals that it will probably be played and the remaining two will be groovin’.

    I thought I would share it with you. Pretend you’re hanging out…but get up and dance, because you can’t just listen to it:

    Johnny Gill – The Floor

  • The Fonz

    She makes me laugh…

    My mom left a note on this picture:  “It looks like what I carry in my pocket”

    Sad, but true.

    You know how when you’re sick you pick up on things that you would normally dismiss?  I had a moment on the phone and I had to scribble it down on the back of the Tums bottle for when I felt better.

    My mother pronounces each day of the week like this; Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. THURS-DEE. Friday. Saturday. Sunday.



  • The Fonz

    my wish…

    If I could do it again, I would spend those quiet moments in bed with mom watching movies instead being on the phone with my ubber dumb ass boyfriend fighting about if his friends are better than my friends.

    Right now…all I want more than anything is to climb into bed with my mommy and watch some made for TV show.

    God, I hate days when you just wish you would have never moved out of you house as a teenager.

  • The Fonz

    Me, My mother, her mother and her mother before her…I’m certain.


    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .

    “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

    “You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .

    “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

    4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

    ” Because I said so, that’s why.”

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

    “If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.”

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

    “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

    7. My mother taught me IRONY

    “Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

    8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

    “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

    “Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

    “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

    “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”

    12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

    “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times.

    Don’t exaggerate!”

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

    “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.

    “Stop acting like your father!”

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

    “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

    “Just wait until we get home.”

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .

    “You are going to get it when you get home!”

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

    “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”

    19. My mother taught me ESP.

    “Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”

    20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.

    “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .

    “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

    “You’re just like your father.”

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

    “Shut that door behind you.

    Do you think you were born in a barn?”

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

    “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

    25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE

    “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.

    –thank you Mrs.Craig for this.

  • Anxiety,  Dashababy,  friends,  hope,  Letters,  My Brats,  Shaun,  stuff portrait friday,  The Fonz

    and then a hero comes along.

    This week Stuff Portrait Friday is Hero.  I had several days to think on it and as the hours came down to minutes, I realized that if you have been reading this blog for anytime, you know who my heroes are.

    1. My Mother: You know that saying, “you’ve come a long way,baby.”? I’m pretty sure that was made up for her. Her road isn’t a road I would wish on anyone.  I wish over and over she could see how proud of her that I am. To see her at rock bottom and not only pull herself up, but bring those around up with her is awesome.

    2. My sister: I get googled, kid you not, EVERY SINGLE DAY for this entry. I’m not sure if someone just likes reading it, or if there are people out there that are writing letters to their sisters and need a little help. I’m pretty sure they can’t say the same things about their sister as I can say about mine. She’s special. I’m her only sister and she makes sure that means something.

    3. Martin Luther King Jr.: His words. My world changed when I began reading his words. The way he looked at people and their actions made all the sense in the world to me. How could we not all live in THAT world he describes with such passion? To live your life with drive and ambition for GOOD and love.

    These are the people you know are my heroes.

    There are other people in my life that are too. My brother, Barry. (dorky one in the back) My brother, Jerry (dorky one to my right) and my dorky brother, Michael (not in picture) and the people that love them.   Today my brother Michael turns 41.  To me, he’s still 10. He’s still that mean ass brother that picked on me and also made sure that my first day of school I wasn’t crying the whole time. He would peak through the window of my class on his recess break to make sure I was okay. My husbands; Ex and Current. Shit, they put up with me. Do you know how much restraint that must take them?
    My friends; Really, come on…you think you have to hear me bitch? You get the Cambells soup version of what they have to hear.  My husband’s ex-wife; We take turns being the evil one. I think today was my day. Sorry, Tabitha.  Old friends that no matter what I did or said to them STILL love me.  You have no idea what your forgiveness means to me.

    So who’s my hero?  Me.
    It’s who all those people that I love SO much and look up to would want me to call my hero. Myself.
    It’s who I want my daughters to call their hero. Themselves.
    Noooooo, they certainly didn’t have it as bad as that group of people in the picture that share a last name. NOT EVEN CLOSE.  If not getting to go on the ‘East Coast Trip’ or getting your cell phone taken away is as bad as it gets, count yourself lucky.

    I’m a survivor. I didn’t do it alone. I’ve had hundreds of hands (my family…and YOURS) pick me up and dust me off.  At the end of the day, I have to live this life the best way I know how.  I think I might be doing okay.

    Now, I am going to force myself to go to sleep because tomorrow I am going with Dan and the kids to Redding to watch my step son in his last play of his high school career. Ryan hasn’t been my ‘official’ step son for the last 8 years, but that doesn’t change my love for him and how I will always support him in no matter what he does in life. It also means  I will need to take about 6 xanax to be able to sit with his mother who thinks I am satan in a pair of flip flops.

    So, who’s your hero?  You picked me huh? Yeah…I thought so.  DID YOU PLAY???

  • journey,  The Fonz

    At What Point?

    My mother is doing good.  She didn’t have a stroke, but they were worried that she had.  They ran some tests and sent her home after she checked out fine.
    It didn’t stop me from driving up there so I could run my fingers through her hair and cuddle with her.

    Today we talked on the phone and she said, “I need to get better so we can do more stuff.”  I agreed. WE need to get better so we can get back to doing our ‘Mother, Daughter & Daughter’ things we use to do.

    Awhile back
    I had a conversation with my mom about ‘owning’ what belongs to us.  The choices that we make our ours and it doesn’t belong to anyone but us.  Be they good choices, we can say, “Hey, that was something I did. I own that.” or be it bad, we have to own up to and say, “Yeah, that was stupid. I own that. I am not going to blame that on anyone, but  me.”

    It seems like I am always in this circle of ‘chasing my tail’.  I get one thing settled and then another one comes up and bites my ass.  The chasing of my tail starts again.

    Today I sat back and divided out what belongs to me and what belongs to other people.  It’s astounding how much of my problems can be fixed with just a change of thought processes.  A simple, “That is mine. I own it.”

    Shaun and I haven’t really been together THAT long. It’s taken a long time to realize that in order to make our lives what we want it to be, we need to be on the same page about everything.  When you’re involved with someone, you have to really sit back and say, “Alrighty, that is HIS…he owns that.” and sometimes where we have to say, “That’s OURS, and we need to fix it.”

    Last year we decided that we are not only on the same page about certain things, but we were going to write the book on how things need to be in our lives.  I’ve screwed up 400 times in the process. He has screwed up at least 800 times in the process. At times we try to stab each other with the pens we are writing the book with.  Ultimately, we decided as husband and wife what we were going to do with the situations we had in front of us.   A united front.  Some people would love the idea, some people would hate it. It didn’t matter what anyone thought of it; not my family, nor his.  If you loved the idea, GREAT. If you didn’t like the idea, that was fine too…but respect that is a choice we made together.

    When I talked to my mother about ‘owning’ the choices we had made in the past and make in the future, she was on board.  Since that conversation, she hasn’t brought up the bad things that happened to us.  I even have taken steps to repair a relationship that was strained with my father.
    I don’t agree with some of the things that happened between my mom and dad.  It doesn’t mean that I can’t love them both.

    They each have their mistakes. They each own those mistakes. They are not mine.  I am lucky enough to be the daughter of those two wonderful people.  They are smart enough to know that I am an adult and the problems that they have had with each other doesn’t belong to me.  The joy of being able to spend time with each of my parents and not have to hear the Bullshit about the other one;  it makes me realize…the choice I made is the right one.
    My father knows if he at any time asked me to choose him over my mother, he would be minus a daughter.
    My mother knows if she asked me to pick her over my father, she too would be minus a daughter.

    Because of this, I know I have the love of both of my parents.

    Thank you guys for respecting the choices that I have made.

  • Dashababy,  kara,  The Fonz


    FINALLY! I finally got up to mom and Kath’s house to visit. It was, as Kathy calls it “WAY TOO SHORT”, and I need to go back and spend like 2 months to catch up.

    I didn’t plan on getting my hair done, but after seeing Kara’s hair when Kathy finished it…I begged her to do mine.  So, it no longer looks like it does in this picture.
    Kathy came in a few minutes after the pictures were taken and waved this magic wand over my head and magic happened and I am much less war-torn looking and more “Bow Chicka Bow Bow”.

    Kathy’s husband, Kevin was in the garage all weekend getting all the Christmas decorations out and ready for set up. Shaun and I decided that in order to get us into the Holiday Season, we would force ourselves to decorate early and see a therapist that will use hypnotism to keep us believing that, ‘we will get through this…we will get through this…”

    My favorite part the whole Christmas season is pulling out the last few decorations that only I am allowed to put up.  My tiny angel and my snow babies.  I have a few new ones that are old and belonged to Shaun’s grandma. All “my” ornaments are put away in my closet and not with the other Christmas stuff in the garage.

    God, this is a stupid post. Disregard everything I just said and go take a shot of Captain Morgan.

  • Random and Odd,  The Fonz

    Cleaning and Sleeping

    After the cleaning and organizing of the kitchen I was exhausted. Instead of being thrilled for having accomplished so much, I felt anxious that someone was going to mess it up. I went on patrol every hour on the hour and like a bullhorn would announce, “WHO LEFT THE PLATE ON THE TABLE!?”

    The next morning I spent the day in my closet, looking for the floor and the source of the ants that have decided to hide out in there. Gay ants, hiding in my closet. I don’t have the heart to spray them. They are probably just trying to figure out how to get me to dress like a normal person.

    Today was spent vacuuming, emptying the canister, vacuuming some more, emptying the canister. I have enough dog hair to create a few more dogs.

    This post of course leads to the “I’m sorry, Mom” that she has been waiting for 20 years for.
    1. Sorry mom for you having to ask me 5 times to do something.
    2. Sorry mom for not doing it even after asking me 5 times.
    3. Sorry for rolling my eyes when you would ask me 5 times.
    4. Sorry for messing up everything you did and not noticing how well you cleaned all day while I was at school.
    5. Sorry about complaining about the dog hair in your house.
    6. Sorry…for waiting this long to say I’m sorry.

    During all of this, I’m tired. I’m sure it has to do with the pain in my tooth. Who knows.

    Anyway…still working on me, and not doing too shabby.