• GYOW,  journey

    Cut my hair and change my name!!

    I am having more fun trying to push myself farther and farther. On Sunday I headed out to the drop zone to meet up with Natalie and Kim to do our 2nd dive that weekend.  It would be my third dive in total. After my second jump from the plane I hurt myself. I don’t know what I did to cause me to lose feeling in my right hand, but I dealt with it so I could pull the chute and learn the navigation in.  It was more annoying than painful. In the second jump there was more for me to learn and Jeff wasn’t going to let some stinking…

  • GYOW,  journey

    I did it. I freaking DID IT!

    3 girls. 1 new me. On Wednesday I was driving home from work and thought that another ride on the motorcycle might be fun, but then realized it wasn’t as thrilling as it could be if I actually drove it myself.  Knowing I have to wait for the Ninja to be finished, there was going to be no way that Dan would let me actually drive off on his bike, I tried to think of something as fun. Maybe it was the way the sun was shining through the windshield or a song on the radio, but I said out loud, “I’m jumping out of a plane.” About 14 years…

  • GYOW,  journey

    I had to reset all my passwords and like a total dork, forgot them. It took a few hours, but I found them and now I can’t remember what it was that I was going to say. In the great delete of 2009 (deleted 19, 873 pictures) I also deleted all my mail.  I now have lost all the requests for the other place I write at. Soooo, if you’re mad at me for not giving you the email…just email me again. Things are going alright. My weekends are busy as I realized that being at home is what I would guess HELL feels like. Cita and I found this…

  • Anxiety,  journey

    Second Year…

    Today our two year anniversary.  Today is also the day I made our first marriage counseling appointment. No one puts on their wedding dress and thinks, ‘In two years from today, I am going to be making an appointment for counseling.’ No one expects the “Happy Anniversary” email to be followed up with an email for a therapists. I know, I’m suppose to be happy today.  This day is suppose to mean something, be an accomplishment. It just feels sort of hollow.  And this is where I pep talk myself into saying, “this is a journey and it’s a rough one and you have to work for it and life…

  • Anxiety,  journey

    It’s offically MONDAY

    After a phone call from my mortgage company informing me YET AGAIN they have screwed up my loan modification, Shaun insisted that I wasn’t going to crawl under the covers and cry like a baby. It’s been four months of hell dealing with this company.  I started out indignant that I was right and they were wrong. Then the letters saying, “Yo, chick…we own you…bend over and take it and like it.”  I decided that I better just buy the bottle of KY and let it begin.  After fire and hoops we came to an agreement.  For the last month I have finally felt like things were on the right…

  • journey

    hand written words, sweat and tears.

    I have been working on a website for what seems like a life time.  The actual putting it together part was a 18 hour straight endeavor.  Kudos to those of you that do this EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE.  There wouldn’t be enough Captain Morgan to keep me sane.  And how do I put a website together with Shaun’s stunning good looks and chiseled body just out of reach?  No right-thinking woman should have to work in such conditions. So after hours and hours of installing programs,deleting programs, installing programs. peeing. screaming at the laptop. screaming at the people at godaddy through my monitor and scaring Shaun with my freaky,…

  • journey

    Uncomforable Honesty…

    ** Updated — It took several hours to get the nerve up to do it, but here it is. No make up. No fancy clothes, no talented photoshopping.   Me. Right now. *** I want a change. I have wanted to change for as many times as I have opened up a magazine and something as innocent as a woman looking normal in a pair of jeans jumped out at me. I want to be comfortable. I don’t need to be thin, hot, smokin’ MILF. I just want to be comfortable. So, I am going somewhere I have never gone before. Posting pictures of my transformation, which I have limitted…

  • Anxiety,  journey

    Why did you use the ‘sad face’ picture?

    Shaun watched over my shoulder as I changed my layout again. “Why that picture?” he asked. “It’s how I feel.” “It’s depressing.” All I can say, is that is how I am feeling right now. Saying that I am ‘depressed’ isn’t easy for me.  It’s taken me a long time to admit that I had anxiety.  I think it’s going to be harder to admit that I have ‘depression’. Tyler and I have been battling through this cough and cold.  Yesterday when he got home from school we were both coughing. It was funny at first because I would cough, and then he would cough.  For awhile I thought we…

  • journey,  The Fonz

    At What Point?

    My mother is doing good.  She didn’t have a stroke, but they were worried that she had.  They ran some tests and sent her home after she checked out fine. It didn’t stop me from driving up there so I could run my fingers through her hair and cuddle with her. Today we talked on the phone and she said, “I need to get better so we can do more stuff.”  I agreed. WE need to get better so we can get back to doing our ‘Mother, Daughter & Daughter’ things we use to do. Awhile back I had a conversation with my mom about ‘owning’ what belongs to us. …

  • journey,  Random and Odd

    Detoxing…

    I was looking up ‘detoxing’ the other day on the internet, because of something ‘Cita had said about metals in our body. For some reason it got me into looking into different types of detoxing and many of them include taking things that require you to have stomach cramps and poop all the time. As mentioned many times before, I have no poop problems, so the thought of pooping MORE, just sucked. I was reading and reading about the things we need to get out of our system. Caffeine, Nicotine, Drugs….HELLO, all my favorite things. It also talked about eating more fruit. I’m guilty, I don’t eat fruit. I would…