Marina: When I start driving, I will drive you where ever you want! Because I am such a nice sister.
Alyx: So when I say, “Marina, I want beef jerky, take me to the store, you’ll say yes!?”
Marina: Yes Alyx, because I will be like, you’re my sister and I am a good sister and I know there will be a time when were not all here.
Me: Hold on, I am blogging this.
Alyx: I’m going to go write that down…and make her sign it.
This last week, physically, has been rough on me. The diet is draining me of energy (I thought there was none to start with!) Today, I got vertigo. The whooshing in my ears.
After sitting down for awhile and getting up super slow, I was alright.
We leave for Reno today for the Matchbox 20 concert. The road to Reno is currently being dumped with snow. Did I ever tell you how much I just lurve driving in snow? LOVE IT! (please detect the sarcasm)
No matter what, despite the circumstances, I am going to have fun. How could I not? hot tub IN.THE.ROOM. Matchbox 20, the smell of hotel towels, TWO TEENAGE GIRLS who 89% of the time want to slash each other’s throat.
*I just posted a bulletin on MySpace with the title “Webcams throughout the house” there isn’t a chance Tyler won’t open that bulletin. This is what it says:
Going to Reno for the night to see Matchbox 20 concert with Shaun, Marina and Kara.
Tyler will be here at the house. with the two guard dogs trained to attack with the words “Who’s There?” or “You home?” or “Keg’s Here” (the black dog hasn’t learned ‘release’ yet and usually attacks your pockets or the area in between)
For those of you ‘watching the house’ I hooked up the wireless webcams and all you need to do is log into the live feed stream.
If anyone wants the url for the live feed stream, shoot me an email.
I’m a mean ass.
Marina and Kara fight like real sisters and not step-sisters.
Both girls were 10 and 11 when they ‘met’ for the first time. In the beginning the novelty of having a friend to play with was totally awesome.
Then Shaun and the kids moved in and the girls entered into 6th grade. The novelty of it wore off FAST.
The past years have been a roller coaster of mood swings. I’m talking the Tilt’a’Whirl, Ferris Wheel and the Drop Zone of mood swings.
They can go a week being the bestest of friends, glued to each other and laughing together so hard that it makes us laugh because they are in the backseat crying in giggles.
AND the flip side of this the worst of enemy. They can’t walk down the hallway without the tension being so high that the pictures fly off the wall. They talk crap about each other and hurt feelings left and right.
Tonight made me realize that no matter what, the bestest of friends part totally over rides the worst of enemy part.
A couple years ago I went to The Eagles concert with Shaun. We had great seats, I had my buzz on, all was well in Kristine’s world….eeeexccccceeeepppt, I was missing something; My sister.
During a good portion of the concert I had my phone and kept asking her, “CAN YOU HEAR IT!!?”
Tonight Marina went to the Justin Timberlake concert. Kara told me that Marina promised to call her once during the concert. Aww. Cute. Now, where is the remote? HOUSE MD is on.
When Kara’s phone rang, she got the biggest smile on her face and bolted to her room. I followed her in and listened to Marina walk Kara through everything that Justin was doing and saying. While he was talking, Kara explained to me that when her and Marina first met they would sit in her room and listen to that song OVER AND OVER again, and even had a dance to it.
After the song started, Kara started singing with Justin AND Marina. Giggling. Truly happy that Marina was at the concert.
In the middle of the song, Marina yelled into the phone, “I LOVE YOU, KARA!”
and Kara with her big, toothy smile yelled back, “I LOVE YOU TOO, MINA!”
My heart EXPLODED with happiness.
They are real sisters.
Marina and Kara get along SO great before dances.
By the end of the dance they are bickering and fighting.
And Kara had a crappy time at the dance because of a boy flirting with her ALL the time BEFORE the dance, and then it comes around and he stands there and watches her dance.
Most would say, “Oh he liked her and was too afraid to ask her to dance.”
Nope, this guy is a jerk.
Go on, tell her about your horrible dance experiences. She doesn’t believe me when I tell her how horrible mine were.
, originally uploaded by Random and Odd.
The month of February: 5 kids, 15 dentist appointments.
It’s been a rough month for me as far as dealing with stress. It seems like when it rains, it pours.
right now – you’re all shaking your head, ‘yep’ huh?
That’s the part that gives you perspective. EVERYONE knows what it feels like and they all have a story to tell. Some people like to play the ‘mine is worse than yours’ game. We won’t be playing that here today.
I actually deal with stress quite well. (My doctor doesn’t agree with that last statement though)
I don’t panic or have a break down in the middle of it all. I manage to get through the stress, check for damages and then I go into ‘repair’ mode. Repair mode is me crawling in my bed, having 15 long anxiety attacks, crying until I have no tears left.
My whimpering must have some sort of beacon/homing device because in the middle of it all, my sister will call me.
Kathy is a Taurus, she’s a no-shit type of person, get your ass out of bed and get some perspective! She’s exactly what people need when they are starting to freak out. She’s the patron saint of the crazy people.
Last night I was coming down from a anxiety attack when I thought about Kathy and how much it would suck if I were the older sister. She’s the rock, the centerstone of the masterpeice of our family. I don’t think I could handle that much pressure and responsiblity.
Kathy’s word is the final say in everything. It doesn’t matter that she doesn’t pack a gun like my brother the cop, or could snap you in two like my brother Jerry, or throw a pissy fit like my brother Michael…Kathy’s word is the law. What she says, goes.
I know I always talk about how wonderful my sister is. Honestly, I don’t say it enough. “Thanks for dealing with shit” doesn’t seem like enough. When were together we joke, laugh and catch up…but here on my blog is where I can give her comforting hugs and pretend that it’s enough.
Alyx is going to follow in my sister’s shoes. She already is the ‘go to’ kid when something needs to be worked out. Shea is just like me, the little sister that looks to her big sister to make sure everything is okay.
Shea always comes up with these big plans and Alyx just looks at her and says, “that’s not going to work, but it’s a good idea.”
My sister gives me that look over the phone. I can hear it…and you know what?
She’s always right.
I updated the SPF list.
It’s something sort of simple I think.Nov. 11th – show me the money
- The last thing you bought for yourself
- The last thing someone bought for you
- Your wallet
Next week is going to be WAY harder and you’re going to hate me because I am going to make you think out of the box.
I need to climb inside myself and find some outlet and I think taking pictures and writing is going to help me out. I have been holding back. I always say, “My words are my own and I won’t stop writing because someone didn’t like what I had to say.”
The truth is, I have stopped writing what I would want to write about if I had the freedom to write about what I want to write about.
WHOA. run on sentence. Did ANYONE understand what I just wrote?
At night when I can’t sleep I write posts in my head. I’m totally honest and I say what I really want to write about. I think about the way I would phrase my feelings. Then I remember that I no longer have that option because if I open my mouth and write about what I think about…I would get yelled at. I would be taken the wrong way. I would be told that I am disrespectful. I would be the bad guy.
I do write down these feelings and a handful of people know where I stash them. I haven’t written about how I really feel in a long time because I feel like I am ‘bitching’ or ‘venting’.
Last night I almost crawled out of my bed and wrote the thoughts I had my head, but I opted to just get some Sierra Mist and watch Headline News.
In order to get back to me, I am going to start writing more personal things. So, please…if you’re my step son, my exhusband, Shaun’s ex, Dan’s ex, my kids, their friends…or anyone that really doesn’t want to know me and hear about the shit that is eating me up inside…you’re going to have to stop reading my blog.
Starting today, I’m not censoring myself anymore and I’m sorry Shaun…but you’re probably going to break off the engagement and put me in a looney bin.
Mom, I swear, no matter how honest I get…I will not post the picture of you getting off the toilet I got this weekend, even though it’s a super artistic picture and you have the most adorable look on your face…I will not post the picture of my mother on the toilet. or the one of Shaun in the shower.
You’ve been warned.
People in hell are drinking ice water.
It’s been going on 4 days that Kara and Marina have been getting along. I’m not really sure if I should be celebrating or in fear that they have bonded together as one super team and now my days are numbered. I wish I could just jump up and down and be happy about it or yell at the top of my lungs to knock it off! Instead, I am sticking my head to the door and listening for plans of my demise.
I got up this morning to them sharing breakfast. Laughing and giggling about some poetry Kara had written. At one point I think I might have heard Kara telling Marina she could borrow her Abecrombie sweatshirt. That of course, HAD to be me just DREAMING.
Then I saw Marina wearing her Abercrombie sweatshirt. Natural mother instincts kicked in and I dove towards Marina in a attempt to remove the sweatshirt so Kara wouldn’t rip her hair out from the roots, rip off her arm and beat her with the bloody stump.
“We traded today. I’m wearing her jacket and she’s wearing mine. Look, they match the shoes she let me borrow.”
Kara came out wearing Marina’s jacket and was… *holding back tears*…. SMILING.
I know I didn’t get much sleep last night, but did the world slip off it’s axis last night while I was busy watching reruns of Will and Grace?
In attempt of grasping the situation I told them to come hug me.
“Come here and hug me. NOW. New rule in this house as of this morning. WE HUG EVERY WEDNESDAY MORNING.”
“Cause it’s a random day and YOU TWO ARE FREAKING ME OUT!”
This blissful giggling and getting along HAS to stop sooner or later and when it does I don’t want to be ANYWHERE near the fan.
Damn teenagers are messing with my mind.
Shaun, pick up more Xanax on the way home.
There, I flipped the picture so you can read the shirt. Sorry mom I should have thought of that before I posted the picture. I just figured with our dislexia you would TOTALLY read it fine ;)
THE LIMO SCAVENGER TREASURE HUNT
It was craziness getting all the envelopes dropped off for the hunt, but my friend ‘Cita and I managed to pull it all together. There were a few moments where I was pretty sure she was just going to smack me in the head.
“OMG! I LOST THE ENVELOPES FOR THE LAST STOP!” I franticly tried to remember if I left TWO sets of envelopes at the mall. I reread Shaun’s instructions and realized, “Oh yeah…this is the place I pick up the fortune cookies and leave the clues IN them.”
The limo was waiting outside the school when the kids got out and OH the excitement! All the other kids stared and talked with each other.
“Is there someone FAMOUS in there?”
“I wanna go for a ride!”
“Awwww!that’s not fair!!”
(I still say all those things when I see a limo too!)
I wanted to be obnoxious, but once the limo got there and the girls started bubbling with excitement I was swept up in their excitement and all I could do is thank the limo driver for ever single thing he did.
Keep in mind I told the girls about this ‘end of the year party’ about 3 months ago. I told them to invite 4 of their friends. I told them there might be a limo, pizza, mall…the works. The whole class knew about this party that was going to happen and a good majority of them wanted to go.
You would think that this would be an opportunity for the girls to worm their way into the popular girls crowd.
When the girls (and 2 boys) walked up to get in the limo my heart swelled with pride.
My girls didn’t pick a single girl from the popular crowd. They stuck to the friends that had been their friends all year long.
The popular girls came over to the limo and peeked in to say ‘HI, CALL ME.’ and once the windows went up and the car started to pull away the inside of the limo reached a level of noise I didn’t think was humanly possible! We blared Green Day and started out the hunt!
The scavenger/treasure hunt kicked ass! Shaun…thank you!
They figured out the clues pretty quickly.
I realized that Kara could be no one else’s daughter but my own when we were in the limo and she’s got a glass of apple cider in one hand and is working the stereo with the other while everyone else is trying to figure out the clues.
We ended up at the mall and had some ice cream and hung out. Then the limo brought us back for pizza. Then at the end of the party Kara got to arrive at her softball game in a limo!
None of the children wanted to home so I drug half of them to the softball game THAT KARA’S TEAM WON! and then after that we ended up at the pool.
It was an awesome day for the girls and now they get to spend all day today telling everyone about the day they had.
She doesn’t read my blog, but ‘Cita…THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR HELP! I COULDN’T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT YOU!
So this Thursday we rented a limo for Kara and Marina for a scavenger/treasure hunt.
Now don’t be thinking we are all rich and spoil the hell out of our children. The ex rented the limo because we have talked about doing this for Kara for years because her DREAM is to ride in a limo.
I also SUCK at birthday parties. I really can’t pull it together long enough to plan the things and she really hasn’t had a birthday party in several years. I’m hoping that someday when they are taking about the cool birthday parties they have had, Kara can say, “Yeah, well I didn’t get birthday parties that often…but mom kicked ass at surprises and slumber parties!”
Each girl got to invite 4 people. The limo will pick up the girls at the end of the day AT SCHOOL…AND THEY ROLL OUT A RED CARPET! Each girl will get a red rose too.
Now I have the first part of the ‘treasure hunt’ planned out, but like I said…I kinda suck at these kind of things.
It was the 6th grade dance tonight. It’s was more like the ‘you’re graduating from 6th grade and going into 7th…now go meet the hundreds of kids you’re going to be thrown into middle school with.”
Kara doesn’t have a boyfriend, but her best ‘guy’ friend is Kyle. They went to preschool together, lived next door to each other…they “get” each other and so it was fitting when neither had a date to go with each other.
And me being me…took a couple hundred pictures. No really, It was like 270 pictures. I can’t even imagine prom night.
Before I get to the pictures…please say a quick prayer for August95 and maybe go to her site and wish her well for when she gets home from the hospital.
If you’re reading this August…*big ol’ hug* Get Well Soon Girl!
Disclaimer to these pictures: I know, I know..I am SCREWED when they are teenagers.
Hope you’re all having a great weekend!